Sunny-side or hot-and-dirty scramble?
Team bacon or sausage? Hash browns or nah? English muffins, croissant, bagel?
Molly and Declan debate the merits of bacon, sausage, ham, and pastrami (?); and find a home for the english muff.
Special thanks to our listeners for your questions, especially those of you that called in. We still need your help! Send your burning sandwich questions (not burning sandwich, you know what we mean) to podcasts@food52.com.
Mystical galactic voiceover: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Grilled cheese. Pastrami. Tuna salad. The Sandwich Universe.
Molly Baz: Welcome back, everyone, to (deep voice) The Sandwich Universe. Does that sound like the recording? Did that sound like, auto-tuned?
Declan Bond: (laughing) I don't know. I don't know if you got it there. You gotta really go low. (very deep voice) The Sandwich Universe.
Molly: Oh my God, you sound auto tuned.
Declan: I'm Declan Bond. I'm a professional eater, sandwich enthusiast, and honestly just representing the civilian class here, in The Sandwich Universe, learning about ten iconic sandwiches from the United States.
Molly: And I'm Molly Baz. I am a professional chef, professionally trained, anyway. I'm also a cookbook author, recipe developer, and I'm here kind of representing the pros, and here to try and help you level up your sandwich game. Today, we are tackling another iconic American sandwich, none other than the breakfast sando, which is a whole category of its own. And actually, we first thought, let's tackle the bacon egg and cheese, but then as we were researching and thinking about it, we realized, that's not really fair to the sausage, egg, and cheese, or any other kind of egg and cheese.
Declan: The ham egg and cheese, or any number of variations.
Molly: Yeah. The Taylor ham, egg, and cheese. Uh, the pastrami egg and cheese? Hello?
Declan: Wait, what? I don't even know about that.
Molly: Oh dude, c'mon. Save it.
Declan: (laughing)
Molly: And so we took it back a step and we decided this would be the breakfast sandwich episode so that we can explore breakfast sandwiches in all of their ways.
Declan: I will say, I think the, the breakfast sandwich to me is like, well, one big association I have is New York City delis, kaiser roll.
Molly: Bodegas!:
Declan: The classic egg sandwich from a bodega, kaiser roll, American cheese, scrambled, little packets of hot sauce on the side, on the subway, and--
Molly: Yeah. Wrapped in tin foil.
Declan: Wrapped in tin foil, always. Yeah.
Molly: In a paper bag.
Declan: And I feel like that's also--it has this like, very visceral hangover food quality.
Molly: Yeah.
Declan: Like, it's such--the breakfast sandwich is like the, it's the go-to always for a hungover moment. Um...
Molly: I honestly don't think I've ever had one unhungover.
Declan: Not hungover. (laughing)
Molly: Like, not the thing I reach for when I like wake up fresh on a Thursday and I'm feeling good and I just went to Pilates. I'm not like, "Let's slam a breakfast sando."
Declan: Right, right, right.
Molly: It's just not the time and the place.
Declan: And I was, I was telling a friend, and they, they told me that eating eggs is actually--well, eggs, specifically, have some chemical in them that actually counters whatever toxin your body produces when you've had too much alcohol. So there's like a medical, clinical, physiological reason that egg sandwiches are good for hangovers.
Molly: Whoa.
Declan: Which, you know, and then I was thinking about, you know, egg salad randomly again. And I was like, a breakfast sandwich feels like such a nurturing, you know, lovely little thing to, to help, but then egg salad feels like the inverse of anything I would want when I'm hungover.
Molly: Yeah. Like, what is it about boiled eggs suspended in mayonnaise that is so different from a fried or a scrambled egg that's slathered in mayonnaise, among other things. Such that, you just like, can't even look at egg salad when you're hungover? So anyway, we're not here to talk about the egg salad sandwich. We're here to talk about the breakfast sandwich. (typing sounds) From Wikipedia: "A breakfast sandwich is any sandwich filled with foods associated with the breakfast meal. Breakfast sandwiches are served at fast food restaurants, for example, the Burger King breakfast sandwiches, and delicatessens, or bought as fast, ready-to-heat-and-eat sandwiches from a store. Breakfast sandwiches are commonly made at home. Different types of breakfast sandwich include the bacon sandwich, the egg sandwich, the sausage sandwich, or various combinations thereof, like the bacon, egg, and cheese.
Declan: I mean the bacon, egg and cheese is, is the monster.
Molly: Yeah, it's the iconic classic, but I have to say it's not my favorite.
Declan: Interesting.
Molly: Like, I wouldn't order a bacon, egg, and cheese over a sausage, egg, and cheese, ever.
Declan: Really!
Molly: Would you?
Declan: I definitely think that the bacon, egg, and cheese has a place, though I'm not sure in the final analysis, if it's the better of the two. So I will, I'll give you that.
Molly: It's a question mark.
Declan: It's a question mark.
Molly: And I do love bacon, and of course we love a BLT, but there's something about the juiciness of sausage and all the drippy, fatty, spiced kind of like juices that spill out of it that feel really appealing in a breakfast sandwich.
Declan: Right.
Molly: I do, though, think it's interesting to think about breakfast sandwiches in the context of fast food, because every iconic fast food restaurant has their, like, proprietary breakfast sandwich.
Declan: Yeah.
Molly: And although I don't personally frequent them or eat them, I do feel like that's like, the way in for many people in breakfast sandwiches, because a little bit of the thing about a breakfast sandwich is, because we just established that a breakfast sandwich is most enjoyed hungover, getting someone to make a breakfast sandwich is, is like a big ask when you're in that state. And so I think, therefore, the appeal of the drive-thru breakfast sandwich.
Declan: Yeah. Yeah. But I do think that points to something else, which is, you know, in, in some ways, like, this bodega breakfast sandwich, the, you know, iconic fast food, it's like, it, it might be the case that the lowbrow variations are actually the best possibility for this whole class of, of sandwiches, as opposed to like, something that's really, you know, dolled up and decadent at like, some fancy brunch spot that, it's kind of just missing the mark maybe.
Molly: Mmm, yes and no. Like, I feel like there are ways to like, ramp up your breakfast sandwich with minimal added effort. I think that's the sweet spot of a really truly superior breakfast sandwich. And I feel like, now that people are at home more than ever, it's like, high time that we embrace making breakfast sandwiches at home. So I think that's what we should get after today.
Declan: Yeah. I can get down with that.
Molly: And why don't we open it up to some questions, so that we can help the peeps get there? We'll be back in a sec, but before we go, a special thanks to our presenting sponsor, Cabot Creamery.
(midroll)
Declan: Alright. Our first question today comes from @_ado?
Molly: No, it's @dat_ado. (laughing)
Declan: The question is:
Call-in: Is it still a breakfast sando if it doesn't have any eggs?
Molly: What's your instinct on that? Just like, gut reaction.
Declan: I mean, I mean, the knee-jerk is absolutely not. Uh, but I'm trying really hard now, to like, to think of what that would look like if it wasn't an egg-based sandwich.
Molly: I think I might be able to paint a picture for you. Shall I?
Declan: Please, indulge me.
Molly: (laughing) You wake up.
Declan: Picture this.
Molly: You're hungover as fuck. You, you're in New York City, okay? You walk down the street to the bagel shop. There's an everything bagel in the window. You order it. They ask you what you'd like on it. And you say, "Scallion cream cheese, bacon, tomato."
Declan: Wow.
Molly: It's still a breakfast sandwich.
Declan: Yeah.
Molly: Am I right?
Declan: I think you are right. Um...
Molly: Like, people do that.
Declan: Yeah. Or even, I mean, just to take it even further, the, you know, a lox sandwich, which is typically a breakfast thing, but doesn't obviously have eggs on it.
Molly: Or how about this? Take it back a notch. I'll have an everything bagel with cream cheese, please.
Declan: (laughing) That is a sandwich.
Molly: It's a motherfuckin' breakfast sando.
Declan: It's a, it's nearly a grilled cheese. (laughing)
Molly: It basically is. It's a cheese sandwich. So I--so yeah, I think when we're talking about the broad category of breakfast sandwiches, we should not forget about bagels and the things that we sometimes put on them and then eat in the morning. But, for the sake of this particular episode, I would like to concentrate on breakfast sandwiches that contain eggs, um, and other hot things. Does that feel fair?
Declan: Yeah, I think that's a fair parameter to put on ourselves for today.
Molly: Okay. Glad we got that out of the way. Here's one from @Ana_Carolyn_:
Call-in: Are you guys team bacon or team sausage for your breakfast sandwich?
Declan: Alright. I mean, right to the meat of the question.
Molly: No pun intended.
Declan: Of the breakfast sandwich. No pun intended.
Molly: I think my position is clear here, because I just stated it.
Declan: Well, but I feel like there's a third category, the ham.
Molly: Okay, fine. Then I think there's a fourth category, the pastrami.
Declan: Well, I think there's a fifth category. Um, just kidding. I don't actually--there's no fifth category.
Molly: No, there isn't. No, don't be ridiculous.
Declan: Well, let's do a little widdling again. Cause I feel like the core debate is between bacon and sausage. Ham is like, uh, uh, you know, it's a, it's a distant third, and pastrami, I'm still skeptical about pastrami.
Molly: Dawg, you've never had a pastrami egg and cheese? It's like, it's like everything, that's good about bacon, cause it's like smoky and then salty and a little bit sweet and it's cured like that. Except for then it's like, tender and shreddy and juicier à la sausage.
Declan: Yeah, but think about bacon, egg, and cheese. It, I mean, um, you know, I know I'm a broken record with the texture stuff, but it needs something crispy, something crunchy to, you know, be a foil for that, you know. The egg, which is, you know, gonna never be that crispy, um, the cheese, which is going to be a little bit melty. Um, so I feel like bacon has a shot at, you know, playing a strong supporting role here.
Molly: I guess really crispy bacon does. But I, I, I think that a breakfast sandwich actually doesn't have a crunchy textural component that is like, core to its architecture. Like, there's something actually kind of satisfying to me about sinking my teeth into a sausage, egg, and cheese, and knowing that I'm going to have no hard time biting into it, because I'm just trying to like, wolf this thing, get calories and fat into my body ASAP. And it's just like, it's a very sort of like, indulgent, juicy experience. I'm not going to call it mushy, but it's--
Declan: Yeah. It's on the right cusp of mushy, but, but just on the right side. Okay. Okay. Um, I'm, I'm convinced there. I'd say the other thing that sausage has going for it is that it can be used to like, deliver a bit of spice, a little bit of something alternative that isn't just savory and isn't just fatty.
Molly: Fuck yeah.
Declan: But like, is actually going to be, uh, you know, additive, in terms of like, leveling up the flavors that are going on.
Molly: Totally. So yeah, like think about like, if you were to get like ground chorizo, and make like a little, a breakfast patty out of chorizo. There's so much flavor in that! So in terms of leveling up, I feel like sausage is kind of where it's at. And if you really want to get extra, making your own sausage, or like adding things into ground pork to kind of create your own breakfast sausage type of vibe, could be a fun thing to play around with, if you are so inclined.
Declan: So--but when we say sausage, we're obviously talking about the kind of patty, right?
Molly: Yeah, oh my god, no. Links? No.
Declan: Not like a merguez link sliced. Although that sounds kind of delicious.
Molly: Yeah, but then like, you have to put it in like a hotdog bun, and then it's like, is it a hot dog? I don't know. I feel like it's--
Declan: (laughing) It's a patty, it's a patty.
Molly: It's a patty. And because of the round nature of most of the breads that are going to be up for consideration in this conversation, a patty just makes the most sense.
Declan: A big forecast there. Okay.
Molly: Oh! (laughing)
Declan: (laughing) You're telegraphing!
Molly: Okay, okay. I actually don't know. Let's see, we'll see where it goes. Okay. So I guess, I guess we've just agreed, we're both team sausage, but I'm also occasionally team pastrami. It's not like, you're not walking into a bodega and getting a pastrami egg and cheese. But, for example, I lived around the corner from Frankel's in Brooklyn, and they had a pastrami egg and cheese on the menu and it was fire! So, um, we'll find you one some day, Big. We will.
Declan: Okay, I'm ready. Um, our next question comes from @zacxWolf, or Zach's wolf, who asks:
Call-in: Hashbrowns on breakfast sandwiches, yes or no?
Molly: It's a big no for me.
Declan: It's a big no? Wow. I guess I had jotted down in my notes, like, "Is potato a potential augment?" but I kind of--I mean, my, my initial conclusion was also just no, like, there's no great, uh, potato element, cause it just makes it just too heavy inevitably. And while I think hashbrowns is probably the best case to throw a hash brown in there if you really must have potato in your breakfast sandwich, I think it's probably best without.
Molly: Potatoes, fried potatoes or hashbrowns, often present themselves in breakfast burritos, another category of breakfast food. And I believe that is because the outside carb wrap layer is very thin, and it's like, therefore, there is an opening for more starchiness in that sandwich, or in that wrap, whatever you want to call it. Whereas, a breakfast sandwich is already pretty carb-heavy. There's a lot going on. There's a top and a bottom bun or, or piece of bread.
Declan: Wow. Just really putting stakes in the ground. (laughing)
Molly: Okay. (laughing) Okay, so I love a kaiser roll. Um, and I just don't think you need to go adding more, kind of like, neutral starchiness in the center. I think on the contrary, like, we need to start talking about the augments that are bringing like, big flavor to our breakfast sandwiches.
Declan: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's right. On a, on a side tangent, I don't even think potatoes in a breakfast burrito are always warranted. Like, California burritos, where people like, put French fries in their breakfast burrito?
Molly: Oh my god.
Declan: It's just like, they get soggy. It's just like, not the right place, people. But--
Molly: I agree, but I don't want to take down the breakfast burrito in this episode. We can save that for another one. (laughing)
Declan: We digress.
Molly: Um, okay, so that's the tea on that. Next up, we have a question from @itsy_belly.
Call-in: When I'm making a breakfast sando, when should I use a runny fried egg versus some fluffy scrambaronis?
Molly: What's your preference, Declan?
Declan: I actually thought about all the different possibilities of eggs, and it's tough. I feel like scrambled is, is nice because it kind of holds together, and it's uniform, and it kind of makes it so that there's no like, special bite, you know? And if you do like a sunny or an over-easy, it's like, you're kind of in it for your one special bite, where you get your big yolky, you know, mouthgasm, that is just, you know, delicious and amazing.
Molly: Yeah, it's true. It's true.
Declan: Uh, but the other thing that is a little bit tricky with those super runny sunny up or over-easy egg is that I feel like half the yolk is all over your fingers, and, you know, the best case is that you've got like a nice plate that you can, you know, mop up the, the yolk at the end, or even just straight up lick the plate so you can get all the yolk, but both of them have drawbacks. Both of them have advantages. Another kind of surprising possibility that I was considering, I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this, was an over medium egg. Like, something that is not quite so runny that isn't going to get away from you, but is still not obviously over hard. I don't--
Molly: I think for me, the over medium kind of has the worst of both worlds. Because, the thing that sucks about a runny over-easy egg is that the bites that are just egg white on the outside, like, don't have that much flavor. They're like a little bit rubbery. So like you said, you're kind of just after that yolky moment, and we're kind of trying to mop up the yolk anywhere we can. The thing about a scrambled egg is that that's all emulsified together into like, one homogenous moist curd. So it's like, a little bit doing both, but we're not getting that soppy soaky runny yolk moment. The thing about over medium egg is like, you kind of don't get either of those. You have to make your way through the slightly rubbery, like, slightly tasteless whites. And then you get to the yolk, and it's kind of like medium to hard cooked. So like, you're not getting that really indulgent experience there either. So I kind of feel like that's the worst case scenario.
Declan: Yeah. Hearing you say it, it's kind of plain.
Molly: I always go scrambled, just because I, I feel that the, the glory of the runny egg is the yolk and 90% of it ends up in the foil or on the parchment on the plate. And I feel like that is not optimizing the eating experience.
Declan: I agree. I mean, the McGriddle has a, a scrambled egg in it, after all.
Molly: Sure does. Iconic for a reason.
Declan: The product description on Wikipedia for the McGriddle--I looked it up, so I'm just going to read it out. Cause you know how the McGriddle that the, kind of, air quotes, "scrambled egg" is like this like weird sponge?
Molly: Yeah. A puck.
Declan: (laughing) So on Wikipedia, the product description is, "The standard McGriddle sandwich consists of fried bacon, a scrambled egg flap, and American cheese. (laughing)
Molly: It's a flap?? (laughing) That's so disgusting.
Declan: Which is the worst.
Molly: Honestly, you can hardly call it scrambled, but yes.
Declan: Rght, exactly. It's like a little, you know, it's like a rubber sponge, egg flavor. Um, but I think it has to be a pretty soft scramble then.
Molly: Okay then, so actually, here's how I feel about that.
Declan: (laughing) Oh!
Molly: (laughing) I disagree. I think that, um, the soft scramble is something that is best enjoyed sort of like, spooned onto a nice crusty piece of bread when you can then kind of like, scoop up whatever fell off, and yada yada. Um, and/or just like, forked right into your mouth and appreciated for its like, soft supple custardyness. My preferred scrambled egg on a breakfast sandwich is what I call the hot and dirty. And so it's like, you, you actually--
Declan: Mmm. I know where you're going with this.
Molly: --crank the heat up. You go really, really fast on those scrambled eggs. (finger snapping sounds) And they cook so quickly. Like, they sat in like 15 seconds, so that they're not dried out. Like, don't think of like a hard cook. There's no color on them. They're not brown, but the curd has like, no time to extrude all of its moisture. It's just barely set. And it happens really, really fast in a hot pan. And that's the way that you can get that kind of like, almost like rosette flowery shape, uh, scrambled egg that is perfect for a circular piece of bread. (laughing) Whereas a soft scramble is spilling--it's spilling out the sides. It's like, it's not, it's not really like, homogenous and one, like you can't turn it into a rose and plop it on top and cut into it. It's just like, it's spilling everywhere.
Declan: Yeah. Yeah. I actually think we're talking about the same thing. I probably mis-described the soft scramble as like this custardy thing, but I think I am thinking of the same thing. You got to get that non-stick going. And then, you know, as soon as it sets, you start like, pulling the edges and, you know, letting the kind of runny bit, you know, spill out and also set.
Molly: Yesss.
Declan: And then you, you come away with, uh, a distinct piece of a thing. You know, it's like an egg, like, layer that can be like manipulated like a little, you know, patty, almost.
Molly: Yeah. Like, the parameters are that you must be able to transfer it in one fell swoop. If you have to spoon it in multiple scoops, like, something's not right here.
Declan: Yeah. Yeah. And you want a little bit of that, like, toothsomeness.
Molly: Sure, to bite through.
Declan: Even if it's not, like, spongy. Yeah.
Molly: Um, and, but that doesn't mean it has to be overcooked. Then there could actually be like, kind of wet pockets in there, but it still needs to be like, one unit.
Declan: Mmhmm. Yeah.
Molly: Okay. We agree on this one.
Declan: Just one egg unit. One unit of egg.
Molly: One egg unit. One flap, if you will. (laughing)
Declan: (laughing) One flapper? Next up, a question from Jagusqueeza124, who asks:
Call-in: What would be some good sauce options for different breakfast sandwiches?
Declan: Like the grilled cheese, a condiment is basically essential for a breakfast sandwich. It's really just like a shadow of itself without a condiment. I don't think it needs to be the array of condiments, like I like for a grilled cheese, where you're like, each bite has like something different going on, but at least one solid condiment.
Molly: No, we can definitely hone in on one.
Declan: And I think the reason for that is maybe obvious, but it's, it's twofold. Uh, acid and something with a little heat spice.
Molly: Same. So I think like, hot sauce is always a good idea. I have been making a lot of breakfast sandwiches this year, and I guess I'm pretty hungover. And I've actually been making like a hot sauce mayo mixture, and it's kind of fuckin' delicious.
Declan: Mmhmm. Yeah.
Molly: It seems like--it defies like, everything that I think to be true about a sandwich, which is that like, sandwiches need more acidity, there, the cheese, the sausage, or the bacon and the eggs all are fatty. There's like, literally no reason that mayonnaise should be present or called for on a breakfast sandwich. It should be the opposite. We should be throwing pickled onions and vinegar and hot sauce. And yeah, we need those things too, but there's something so indulgent about mayonnaise on a breakfast sandwich that I just cannot shake. And so I feel like we should be talking about condiments that kind of play both sides.
Declan: Yeah. I mean, I think the idea of a spicy mayo is pretty ideal, because--and when I say spicy mayo, I'm thinking of basically some of the many brilliant hot sauces, Tabasco, Cholula, Tapatio, Crystal. (laughing)
Molly: Red Clay! My favorite.
Declan: Red Clay. Uh, Red Hot, uh, Louisiana. What are some other great ones? Um, anyways--
Molly: Did you already say sriracha?
Declan: Sriracha. Sambal? Anyways, something blended up with mayo. I'm thinking like, a pretty heavy ratio. Like, we're not just like, you know, putting a little spot of, of red in the mayo, and it's like a pink hue. I'm thinking like a pretty heavy dose.
Molly: Yeah. Like, it should be decidedly spicy, even eaten like, on its own, you should be like, okay, this is a spicy mayo, not a mayo spicy.
Declan: It's got some heat.
Molly: It's got some heat. When you just said sambal just now, I was like, maybe it's a sambal mayo, and maybe it's even like sambal and lime, like, for extra acidity. Feels so good on a breakfast sandwich, to me.
Declan: Yeah. I really, really, really like the sound of that. In a breakfast burrito, I eat every single bite with like a really healthy, uh, you know, dose of some salsa that's kind of cold and has the, you know, a little bit of lime and acidity to it.
Molly: Yeah.
Declan: And I know that we're talking about this, this breakfast sandwich that's, you know, really indulgent and really spikes on the fattiness and everything, but I'm just wondering, and this is like, totally speculative. Tell me what you think. But is there something cool and like, salsa-y that helps cut through that? I'm not, I'm not sure exactly what it should be, but I don't know. My mind is going there.
Molly: I've made you, I've made smash burgers for you a million times. And you know how, whenever I make smash burgers, I thinly sliced the white onions. And this is the George Motz-style way to do a smash burger. And then you pile them on top of the burger patty as they're cooking, so that they're like, steaming as the patty is crisping, and then you flip it, and then those get kind of like griddled on to the patty. It's that, but then you also add more thinly, thinly, paper-thinly sliced white onions. I really thinly slice this white onion and I toss it with hot sauce and a pinch of salt. And so you're kind of like, almost like, pickling this white onion in more hot sauce. And that is the condiment that's topping the sandwich, along with the spicy mayo, and it just cuts through everything like a champ. Like, do we love or do we love?
Declan: Whoa. I'm dizzy. I'm literally dizzy with excitement for that. That sounds so amazing.
Molly: It's so good, Dec.
Declan: Wow. Okay. Let's do that. (laughing)
Molly: I'm going to show you. And then the other thing that I think about is just like, I feel like I say this in every episode. Pickles, like just add pickles. Pickles on breakfast sandwiches makes so much sense, especially if you're adding a mayonnaisey kind of situation. Like, let's be honest. It's kind of just a burger.
Declan: I mean, it's becoming a burger, that's for sure.
Molly: With eggs. (laughing) It is.
Declan: We're making a patty with egg and on a bun. (laughing)
Molly: (laughing) Griddled onions, American cheese. It is. I mean, it's an excuse to eat a burger for breakfast. I really maintain that. That's what a sausage, egg, and cheese is.
Declan: I mean, if we're going with the route of, this is a hangover sandwich, it kind of feels like it's the right time to eat a burger for breakfast. And you got your eggs in there. So you have the chemical, physiological justification for the whole number. (laughing)
Molly: this one's coming in from @ClaudiaRupnick. And she asks, "Should it be on a bagel, an English muffin, bread, a wrap? Like, what are we doing here?"
Declan: I think bread is actually out of the question, for the first time. I actually don't want this on sesame sourdough.
Molly: Sesame sourdough, we love you so much, but, goodbye. (laughing)
Declan: But no.
Molly: We'll see you next episode. (laughing) I'm curious your thoughts on English muffins.
Declan: I knew you were going to say it. I knew you were going to say it. It's, it's the, it's the chance to do it, Mol. I think we have to do English muffin.
Molly: I feel fine about it, honestly. I feel like there are kind of English muffin haters out there. I don't totally know why. A kaiser roll, while I love it, and I feel like there's a time and a place, and that place is the corner bodega on South 3rd St. and Roebling, for me, um, (laughing) it's huge. That thing's the size of my face.
Declan: Yeah.
Molly: Food coma.
Declan: And it's more bready than-it's like a big bready breakfast sandwich. And I feel like you, yeah, it's just not the best expression.
Molly: It just, it leaves no room for a Bloody Mary, which is another crucial part of this eating experience for me. And, um, I would like to maintain a little space for it.
Declan: Doesn't this whole sandwich, actually, just go on the end of a little skewer in your Bloody Mary?
Molly: Yeah. Totally. We're going to put it on a toothpick on top of our bloodies when we make it.
Declan: Ooh dear.
Molly: So yeah, my vote would definitely be either a small brioche bun or an English muffin, but I'm kind of feeling nostalgic about it, and I'm kind of feeling like English muffin is the way to go. I do want to say, like, I don't think bagels make sense here. And I really don't understand when people get like these massive breakfast sandwiches on bagels. I just--it's so much.
Declan: And it's also--a bagel is not easy to chew through.
Molly: It's the worst possible scenario. And a lot of people did message me being like, how to keep them from slopping all over the place. And it's like, just don't put it on a bagel, was kind of your answer. I feel like an English muffin is a pretty manageable piece of bread, especially when you cut it in half. Like, you can kind of two bites each side. Two to three.
Declan: To be, to be honest though, I don't think English muffin really solves for that, that well. Like, it's still got a little bit of toughness and it's--because it's small, it--
Molly: Everything's falling out? Yeah, maybe it doesn't solve the problem. I think it's, it's like, you're better off with it than a bagel. Like, a chewy thick bagel is just like, the worst, worst case scenario here.
Declan: Yeah. I think just the total mass being smaller is good. It's a little thinner, and it also, it has a kind of wheaty, kind of nuttiness that I actually feel like will, will nicely compliment, uh, the kind of big sandwich that we're creating. The big fatty, savory sandwich that we're creating.
Molly: Great.
Declan: Alright. I think there's one last question we have to address, which is the cheese.
Molly: Oh, yeah.
Declan: American, cheddar...
Molly: I guess I would say this. I think either cheddar or American, both belong. And it's sort of like, it's a personal preference thing.
Declan: Yeah. Alright, let's make our ideal breakfast sandwich, then. From the outside in.
Molly: Let's go. English muff, and we should griddle it.
Declan: Griddle it. Yes.
Molly: Like we griddle it in the pan in the sausage juices or whatever.
Declan: Mmhmm. What's the next layer, or what's the bottom layer? It's the patty.
Molly: Yeah, it's the patty. And my question is, do you want to do breakfast sausage or do you want to go like the chorizo route? Or, or should we like make our own?
Declan: Interesting. I was thinking like a fennely sausage, like a fennely sausage, or something...
Molly: Like a spicy breakfast, like a spicy Italian kind of, but breakfast sausage.
Declan: Yeah, I think so.
Molly: So I think we get spicy breakfast sausage. I feel like that will have fennel seeds, it will have garlic and a little--it's going to be a little sweet though. Are you down with that? Or do you want to just go straight up Italian sausage? Like, we're talking about a pork patty here, so we can always just crack open a couple Italian sausages and turn them into patties.
Declan: No, I actually--of all the times to like, add a tiny little bit of sweetness, I feel like this is the one.
Molly: So a classic breakfast sausage patty, but we'll hope--and we'll hope that it has some heat, and we'll look for one that has red pepper flakes in it already. If not, we'll overcompensate with our condiment. Okay. And then in terms of the way we treat that, if I may, I would like to smash it. (laughing) I would like to, I would like, I would like to smash the patty. Um, I don't want to get the, the pre-made patties. Like, I want to get loose leaf. (laughing) Is that what it's called? Loose leaf meat. Wow, that's so gross. And smash it like a smash burger, cause it's just the best way to do it. And then as it's cooking, ehh, I just feel like we should put some paper thin white onions on it and do it that way. Do we want to put pickles on it as well?
Declan: I kind of think so. I think like I'm, I'm, I'm dreaming now that we're talking about it, of this like, paper thin oniony relish with like little bits of pickle in it. And it, it kind of like, uh, is its own layer.
Molly: Okay. So you're thinking like, chop the pickles? Cause the other thing is, why don't we, why don't we dice the pickles up, and we could put them, we could put the pickles in the hot sauce mayo.
Declan: In the mayo? Yeah.
Molly: Yeah. Like making a special sauce for the sandwich.
Declan: Yeah, but like a breakfast special sauce, because it's got more heat. It's not so sweet.
Molly: Yeah. And so it's mayonnaise-based. It's going to have--I think we should go sambal for this one.
Declan: Of course.
Molly: And then let's just do lots of chopped pickles in it. And so it's like the breakfast burger sauce, and then, uh, we're going to do cheddar? Or--we're going to do cheddar.
Declan: Egg.
Molly: Oh, the egg, of course.
Declan: Egg is nicely--Yeah, don't forget the egg. God, where are you going?
Molly: My god. It's a breakfast sandwich. I'm trying to make a burger. (laughing)
Declan: Yeah, you're really on...(laughing)
Molly: On the burger tip.
Declan: Yeah, the egg'll just be, as we described, you know, very, you know, kind of good heat in a non-stick, uh, let it set, you know, move the edges so the, the runniness, you know, spills out.
Molly: Runneth over.
Declan: Runneth over.
Molly: And then, and turn it into like a little kind of like, rose type of vibe, like a nice little circular mass, and then throw that on top.
Declan: A little folded.
Molly: And then I think lime juice, I think lime is our acid here for our slaw and for our mayonnaise, if we need more. It feels like, right for some reason, with the onions and the sambal, and I feel like that'll be different. I am so amped to eat this.
Declan: I want one now.
Molly: Well, let's get drunk, and then tomorrow morning we'll make them.
Declan: (laughing) Perfect.
(musical interlude)
Molly: Hot take!
Declan: Links to patties. You can do it.
Molly: In five seconds, honestly. I'm just going to cut them open and release the innards.
Declan: Release the innards!
Molly: (laughing) And then you're going to smoosh them together into a nice little ball.
Declan: Okay. Here we go. Alright, so basically like, it looks like--(slapping sounds)
Molly: Slap that patty!
Declan: Slap!
Molly: Onto the parchment? Ready?
Declan: Oh my god.
Molly: Very satisfying. Do you want to start cutting onions? (chopping sounds) You honestly need more onion than you think. We're gonna pick up half of these paper thin white onions with lime juice and salt. Just make, like, a little hot onion relish.
Declan: A little hot number.
Molly: So we're making a sambal lime and pickle mayo.
Declan: Sambal, lime, pickles, salt.
Molly: Salt.
Declan: Pep?
Molly: Salt, pep. This will be good. Let's chop some pickles. Meantime, I'm going to crack and whisk our eggs. (whisking sounds) I'm going to put some of this mayo on the each side of the English muffin.
Declan: Before we toast?
Molly: And then I'm gonna griddle it, I'm going into this pre-heated cast iron. (sizzling sounds) You hear that? Oh my God.
Declan: The sausage goes down, the shaved onions go on top, and then when we flip, they'll be steamed, and that's why it's going to work, I guess. Okay, this is--
Molly: Yes. And then they're going to flip and they're going to caramelize on the other side, you're going to see. it's going to be fuckin' baller. Gorgeous. Okay, onions going on. Okay, here I go. I'm going in for the flip.
Declan: Flip it up, flip it over. Whoa, whoa. Okay. Nice.
Molly: Whoo!
Declan: Phew, I thought we were going to break there, but we landed. Should I hit the eggs?
Molly: Yeah, hit the eggs.Cheese is going on, and now I'm going to cover it.
Declan: Alright, we're good.
Molly: Okay, I'm ready for you. I'm putting the patty on the bottom. Whoa. Mayonnaise first, hold on. And then I'm going to go macerated onions on top of the egg.
Declan: Mmm, quick-pickly. They're looking beautiful.
Molly: Really juicy.
(musical interlude)
Molly: Where would I eat this? On the couch, watching TV, with a bloody Mary.
Declan: On my bed. Or on the couch, watching TV and hungover, oof. Alright. Let's go in.
Molly: Mm. Mmm! (laughing)
Declan: Mm!
Molly: It's so good!
Declan: I think that's the ticket. Smash the sausage, hit it with tons of acid and heat.
Molly: Yep. More mayo, like, more condiments than you think you need. It's just a more is more kind of sandwich. Finger lickin' good. Another one down the hatch.
Declan: Another one down.
Molly: Another delicious one.
Declan: I wanted that little crispy bit.
Molly: I know. I took it from you.
Declan: You took it!
Molly: Did that come out of your half?
Declan: Probably.
Molly: I saw that, I was like, "I'm going in for that. Nobody's getting in my way."
Declan: Well, thanks for joining. Special thanks to Cabot Creamery, our presenting sponsor, and the Food52 podcast network.
Molly: To Coral Lee, for producing this lovely podcast.
Declan: And to Jeffrey Brodsky for our theme music.
Molly: We will see you next time for another episode of The Sandwich Universe.
Declan: Buh-bye now!
Molly: Bye!